Are you a dumped girlfriend? What does it take to move on after a guy has broken up with you? Do you want to be able to move on, but are paralyzed by sadness? Here’s a dumped girlfriend guide to moving on.
The first thing a dumped girlfriend should know is that this too shall pass. While the guy may have been the most important person in your life for months or even years, you will meet other men.
Being dumped is a personal rejection that is in fact so painful that it can make you feel as though you’ve been injured. A dumped girlfriend often feels as though her feet have been cut away from under her, rendering her unsteady and unsure. All too often she also succumbs to every cold and stomach bug going.
This can leave you with skewed thinking. You might also feel that if he does not come back, no one else will ever fill that gap in your life and you will never find love elsewhere. This is nonsense of course, but grief skews our thinking.
You can get over the pain. You can learn to live again. You can start viewing your single status as a fresh and fun opportunity instead of a punishment. You will, again, feel as if you are lovable and wantable. You are not fated to a lifetime of solitude, misery, and bad luck.
But first, you have to accept that your ex has gone and he will not be coming back. You have to face your grief. Allow yourself to cry for the loss of your hopes and dreams. This is true whether you are a teenager or a woman of 50 whose husband has just left her.
While it doesn’t seem like it right now, you will get over this. Lean on your friends. Talk about your ex until you have no words left to say. When you realize that you are actually bored with the subject of your ex, you will know you’re getting better. Talking is the key to feeling better. When you talk about your hurt, it gradually ceases to have power over you. Step by step, you can recover.
During this shattering time, it is important to look after yourself. Take long, hot, scented baths. Play music that helps you to get your feelings out. Eat your favorite foods. Allow other people to get close to you and care for you.
For many people, loosing a partner brings back feelings of unworthiness or uncertantiy about love from their childhood. If this happens to you, you are feeling both the end of your relationship and all of the baggage from earlier times.
Being a dumped girlfriend may also contradict what you believe should happen to you. These thoughts may stop you from recovering.
One way to deal with being dumped is to go into therapy. A therapist can help you explore the pain of the end of the relationship as well as any other attached issues you may have.
It’s no fun being the dumped girlfriend. But, you will survive and thrive in the future, even if it feels like you don’t have any future right now.
image by reserved by albert.cantaloupe
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